I keep wondering if looking toward Silicon Valley is just a phase

Staring at the screen while the coffee goes cold

I spent another two hours last night just scrolling through LinkedIn profiles of people who actually made it into Google. It’s funny how, in my early twenties, the idea of working at a place like that felt like a distant, shiny goal. Now, it just feels like a complicated logistical puzzle that I’m not sure I even want to solve. My friend from university, who ended up moving to Mountain View about three years ago, keeps telling me that the work-life balance is surprisingly similar to what we had back in Seoul—just with more expensive rent and fewer late-night delivery options. I’m not sure if he’s trying to comfort me or if he’s genuinely bored, but it makes me rethink whether the dream is about the company or just about wanting to be somewhere else.

The reality of the application process

When I first started looking at the requirements, I thought it would just be a matter of sharpening my coding skills and polishing a resume. But then you realize there’s this entire culture of ‘networking’ that feels incredibly unnatural to me. I reached out to a few people on various platforms, and the silence was honestly more draining than a rejection letter. It’s not even about being qualified; it feels like you’re trying to decode a social hierarchy that’s already been written in stone. I remember seeing a post about someone who got an interview after months of preparing, and the actual hiring process lasted almost four months. I don’t know if I have the patience to hold my breath for that long without losing my mind in the process.

Choosing between local stability and the gamble

There’s a lot of noise lately about ‘redistribution of excess profits’ and how the tech sector in Korea is shifting. People talk about the ‘brain drain’ to places like Google or Nvidia as if it’s a national tragedy, but from where I’m sitting, it just looks like people looking for a bit more air to breathe. I’ve looked into the tax benefits for younger workers here—the ones that promise a 90% income tax reduction for those in smaller firms—and part of me thinks that’s the sensible move. It’s definitely a safer bet than spending thousands of dollars on visa processing fees and relocation costs just to be a small gear in a massive machine. Still, there’s that nagging thought that if I stay, I’ll always wonder what it would have been like to sit in that campus cafeteria, even if the reality is just another set of meetings and performance reviews.

Watching the small investments go nowhere

I tried to get a ‘feel’ for the industry by throwing 50,000 won into some fractional shares of big tech companies. It’s supposed to help you ‘get a sense’ of the market, but honestly, checking the app every morning just made me feel more anxious about the volatility. It didn’t make me feel closer to understanding the corporate culture, and it certainly didn’t make the prospect of applying any less intimidating. Sometimes I wonder if we’re all just participating in a collective delusion where we think buying a small slice of a company or following their stock trends makes us part of the ‘global tech’ narrative. It’s just an app icon on my phone, blinking back at me, reminding me that I’m still just a user, not a participant.

The uncertainty of the future

I’m sitting here today, staring at a blank document, not really sure if I should rewrite my cover letter for the tenth time or just close the laptop and go for a walk. My friend keeps telling me that the ‘G-shaped’ economy—or whatever they’re calling it these days—is the only thing that matters, but that feels like consultant-speak designed to sell newsletters. Real life feels much slower and more boring than the articles suggest. Maybe I’ll take a few more months to see how things shake out locally, or maybe I’ll just get tired of thinking about it and apply to something entirely different next week. There’s no clear answer, and I’m beginning to think that’s okay, even if it feels a bit like standing in the middle of a crowded station not knowing which train to board.