Applying for jobs feels like shouting into a void

Watching the numbers shift on my dashboard

I’ve been staring at my application trackers for a few months now, and honestly, the numbers don’t really tell a story. You send out these PDFs, fill out endless variations of the same biographical details, and then you just wait. I remember last month when I was looking at a listing for a mid-tier finance role, and the sheer volume of applicants was already in the hundreds before the first week was up. It feels like every time I open a Google Form to submit an application, I’m just adding another line to a spreadsheet that someone in HR is never going to look at, or worse, someone who is already overwhelmed by a thousand other identical resumes. It’s a strange, detached feeling, knowing my entire future for the next few years depends on whether a keyword filter decides I’m worth a glance.

The reality of those unpaid internship cycles

I thought I had a decent chance when I looked at a few postings related to social welfare support services. There was one initiative I found through the Seongbuk-gu office website that required a quick QR code scan to access a Google Form. It took me all of five minutes to fill out, but the ambiguity of the whole process stayed with me. Are they actually hiring, or is this just a way to build a database of names for future ‘collaboration’ events? It felt less like a job hunt and more like signing up for a community mailing list. I spent about 20 minutes researching the organization, just to realize that even if I got an interview, the role was less about a career path and more about filling a short-term gap in their administrative support. Still, you take what you can get when the alternative is sitting at home waiting for a phone call that never comes.

Trying to stay grounded while reading the news

It’s hard not to feel cynical when you read about certified public accountants who passed their exams but can’t even find a place to do their practical training. If they can’t land a spot with their qualifications, what hope does the rest of us have? There’s this constant chatter about ‘youth unemployment’ in the news, sometimes using pretty dehumanizing language that makes you want to delete your social media accounts immediately. It’s draining to see people my age being reduced to statistics in some clickbait headline. I found myself obsessively checking job boards during my morning commute, which I know is counterproductive, but it’s become a nervous tic. I’ve probably spent around 15,000 won this week alone just on extra coffee at the local cafe while I camp out with my laptop, trying to make myself look busy.

Managing money while the income is zero

There’s this talk about tax exemptions for young people working at small and medium-sized enterprises, but you have to actually have the job first to benefit from that, don’t you? I’ve started looking into those ‘hidden tips’ for income, like small-scale stock investing where you can buy a sliver of Google or Nvidia for just 5,000 won. It’s not really making me money, but it’s a distraction. It gives me the illusion that I’m ‘managing’ my assets, even though my total monthly income is basically non-existent. I’m not sure if this counts as financial planning or just procrastination disguised as productivity. I tell myself it’s about getting a feel for the market, but really, it’s just something to do between rejection emails.

No clear ending to the current waiting game

I still don’t know if the time spent on these applications is ever going to pay off. Sometimes I think about changing my strategy entirely, maybe looking at trade schools or something more hands-on, but then I see another listing and I’m back to clicking the same buttons. There isn’t really a ‘conclusion’ to this phase of my life, just a persistent, low-level hum of anxiety. My laptop is getting hot, my browser tabs are a mess, and I’m pretty sure I’ve applied to the same company twice under two different job titles because the descriptions were so similar. It’s not a graceful way to live, and I honestly don’t know how much longer this specific routine is going to last before I have to do something completely different.